Honourable Intentions
by Crinklybrownleaves
Summary: Set after the end of series 4. How will Lucien and Jean deal with the disapproval and curiosity of the people of Ballarat?
1. Chapter 1

**This story is set sometime after the end of series 4. It will have several chapters, which will appear slowly, as I don't have much time for writing at the moment. At the moment the story is all a bit angsty - not sure yet how it's going to turn out!**

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Matthew limped towards the threshold and pushed the bottle of whisky into Blake's hand. In recent months they had not had so many evenings doing this, and Lucien looked at his friend in surprise.

"Come in!" he said, taking the bottle and closing the door behind them. Lucien led the way into the living room, and looked for some glasses.

"Is Jean out?" Matthew asked, looking quickly into the kitchen.

"Yes. Sewing circle. She'll be back later." Blake paused, then once they were settled he asked, "It's great to see you, of course, but what brings you here this evening?"

"Ah, well, to get straight to the point - when are you going to marry her?" Lawson looked at him steadily.

Lucien swallowed most of his first glass of whisky. "I can't marry her, Matthew. I'm married to Mei Lin." He grimaced at the taste of the whisky, and perhaps also his situation.

"I know that. But are you doing anything to put that right? How long will it all take?" Matthew poured himself another drink.

"The lawyer said it will be a few months yet. But why the question, Matthew? Why now?"

"People talk, Lucien. Rumours are going around that you are taking advantage of her."

"People have always talked about us, Matthew. We've never listened to the gossip. Jean's not bothered by it, and neither am I."

Matthew looked at him grimly. "I think this time she is bothered by it. It's bound to be worse now that everyone knows you are a married man. I'm told that one of the customers insulted her in the butchers yesterday and she left in tears."

"Jean?" Lucien paid attention now. "That doesn't sound like her. What did they say to her?" He was beginning to feel angry, and it was showing in his voice.

"I think you should ask Jean that, not me. But, Lucien, you do intend to marry her, don't you?" Matthew sounded rather serious.

"Yes, of course I do. I've already asked her, twice in fact." Lucien looked annoyed that Matthew might doubt his intentions. "But she says she can't be engaged to a married man, and so we've left it for now."

With that, Lucien firmly changed the subject, and the two friends spent the next hour or two catching up on each other's news and putting the world to rights. The level in the whisky bottle sank steadily as the evening wore on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the reviews. It seems we all like a little bit of angst with our romance! I'm happy to oblige...**

When Jean returned home, she took in the scene in front of her and sighed. Both Matthew and Lucien had had more than enough whisky for one night. Matthew took the hint and set off for home, rather unusually kissing Jean on the cheek as he went.

She looked at him in surprise, but put it down to the whisky.

She took Lucien by the hand and pulled him to his feet. "Time you were going to bed," she chided him, and guided him towards his bedroom. He put his arm over her shoulder and together they lurched through his doorway.

Jean decided against undressing him at all, not sure she could trust either of them in that situation. So once he was lying down she left, turning out the light and going to bed herself.

At breakfast the next morning, she offered him eggs and bacon as usual, and asked why Matthew had come over. A suspicion was forming in her mind that the ever increasing rumours had reached Lawson's ears. That kiss on her cheek spoke of sympathy, even pity. She never worried about Lucien hearing the gossip; the gossipers weren't brave enough to speak their poison to him directly.

Lucien glanced at Charlie and then back at Jean. "Oh, nothing special, he just wanted to catch up."

He changed the subject, waiting for them to be alone.

Once Charlie left for work, Lucien caught her hand as she hurried past him in the kitchen. He slid his arm round her waist and drew her in close to him. "We need to talk, Jean," he said, and she sat back down, her knee resting against his under the table.

"Matthew said some people have been bothering you. What happened, Jean?"

"Nothing happened, Lucien, it's just gossip. We're used to it, and it's not true, so don't give it any thought." She wasn't meeting his eye.

"Well, this time I think it's more. What happened in the butchers?"

"Lucien, it's nothing. A foolish woman, that's all. She said I had broken up a good marriage, and now I'm living with you openly for everyone to see. It doesn't matter, she's wrong, that's all there is to it."

Lucien sighed. "It's not nothing, though, is it? If it's upsetting you, then it matters."

Jean always put a brave face on. Even at the height of the problems with Mei Lin he never saw her cry, though he had no doubts that she had done so in private. For her to cry in the shop must have been embarrassing for her.

Jean shrugged, not trusting herself to speak. Lucien took a deep breath. "You know I care about you, Jean, don't you? And I want to marry you? So the question is, what are we going to do in the meantime?" He held her hand and hoped, prayed even, that she would have a bearable answer.

He was going to be disappointed. She knew that, but she couldn't shield him from the effects of the rumours any longer. "I love you, and, yes, I know you want to marry me. But I think I should move out, Lucien, until we're married."


	3. Chapter 3

**Just a brief chapter to move the story on; the next chapter will have a bit more action!**

Lucien's heart sank. He hated the idea of Jean moving out. They were so used to living together he couldn't begin to imagine what the household would be like without her there. And the divorce was still months away.

He shook his head in disbelief. "Jean, there has to be some other way, surely?"

"Can you think of one?" She sounded irritated. "I wish I could. I've thought about going to Adelaide for a few months, but that would be worse, surely?"

Blake nodded slowly. "Let me think about it for a day or two," he said. "Maybe something will occur to me."

Jean agreed, though she was fairly sure there was no better solution. "I don't want to move out," she said, "but we can't go on like this, and it's only for a little while." She smiled for a moment at him, then stood up and went to start on the washing up.

Lucien walked through to his study and dropped into his chair. He felt a sense of defeat. Jean seemed to have made up her mind and to be resigned to moving out. He couldn't really blame her. Unfairly, women always seemed to be blamed for these situations, yet he was the one that was married.

He couldn't do much to change the minds of those who thought he should have stayed with his wife. But it was unfair to criticise Jean for that, surely. He was seized with the temptation to go around Ballarat shouting, "But we thought she was dead!", though that would hardly help calm the gossip.

He spent much of the morning trying to think of a better option than Jean moving out.

Moving to Adelaide as a solution seemed no good to him, though he did wonder whether a holiday for Jean in Adelaide might let the dust settle, and maybe the gossips would have moved on to fresh scandals by the time she came home.

They could perhaps try to find some more lodgers. They had plenty of spare rooms, and maybe if they had a house full of young people, the gossips would feel that he and Jean were better chaperoned. He shook his head at that one. There had been gossip about them even when they had more lodgers, so that wouldn't work.

He thought about moving out himself; that might be less disruptive for Jean, but it also struck him as faintly ridiculous. He could hardly move out to make it easier for his housekeeper to live in his house!

In frustration he tried to get on with some work, but his mind kept returning to the problem. As the day wore on a thought occurred to him however.

By moving out, would Jean just be confirming to the gossips that they had been right all along, that they were more to each other than just the doctor and his housekeeper? Perhaps it would make things worse rather than better.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for the reviews and suggestions. All very welcome!**

They came unnervingly close to arguing about what they should do.

Jean thought that moving out would give the gossips one less subject to talk about; no one could then claim she was sleeping in his bed. At least by doing this she would have a clear conscience and could perhaps put up with the talk about them more easily.

Lucien thought that the main source of the gossip now was the fact that he was known to be married, and he couldn't see how living apart would make that any better. People would still assume they were involved, and Jean moving out would most likely just confirm that.

They sat miserably over the remains of dinner, unsure what to do for the best. Charlie arrived home, later than usual, to a scene of gloom. Not since Mei Lin first arrived had he seen so much tension on their faces.

Jean stirred herself to serve his dinner and clear the table of their dirty dishes, and he asked what the problem was. Somewhat reluctantly, they told him. Jean was embarrassed to tell him she had been so upset by the personal insults made to her.

"I've never worried about it before. It seems wrong to be upset by it now," she added.

Charlie ate his meal before commenting. "People will always gossip - it's how you feel about it that matters. Maybe you just need a break from it."

Without knowing it, Charlie had hit on a possible solution, and Lucien suggested his idea of a little holiday for Jean, somewhere away from Ballarat, to let the dust settle and to see how she felt then.

By the end of the evening he had persuaded her, despite her protests ("I'm not owed any more holiday this year, and who will look after you and Charlie?"). She had phoned Christopher and agreed she would visit him and Ruby for a couple of weeks, and see her granddaughter again, of course. She did not tell him the real reason for her visit however.

With the trip arranged, she and Lucien spent a rather sombre few minutes before going to bed, sitting together on the couch with a drink, reflecting that this may be their last evening together at home for many months. Lucien put his arm around her shoulders and Jean rested her hand on his leg, as they sat with their heads together, in silence.

At length, Jean broke away from him and stood up to go to bed, but he took hold of her hand to stop her going. Bending down, she kissed him slowly, stroking his cheek, then left him there as she went to pack for her trip away.

The following morning they were both rather subdued, but attempting to put a brave face on it. They washed up together after breakfast, and then Lucien took Jean to the bus station. This time there was no question of him going with her, and Jean reflected to herself that their situation was more confused and perhaps less hopeful than it had been the last time she went to Adelaide.

Just as she had to get on the bus, Lucien pushed something into her hand. It was the box containing his mother's ring. "I thought it might remind you that I intend to marry you. And there may come a time when it will be easier for you if we are publicly engaged. When you think the time is right, then it's your choice, you can just put it on."

There was barely time for a reply as the driver wanted to go, so she just kissed him goodbye and slipped the box into her handbag. "I'll phone you tonight," she said, and before he knew it she was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Jean walked up the path to her son's home with sadness but also some relief. The day had been warm and her case was heavy, and she was glad the long bus ride was over.

She found it hard not to draw comparisons with the last time she came here, when she had been full of hope over her new relationship with Lucien. Now it felt as if they had suffered a setback, and she had to make the effort to be positive.

Ruby opened the door to her, holding Amelia in her arms. Both of them were smiling at her, and Jean's spirits lifted a little. She may not always have seen eye to eye with her daughter in law, but this was a good start.

By the time Christopher came home late that evening, Jean had spent time playing with the baby, helped Ruby cook, and unpacked her case. She kissed her son on the cheek, and he looked at her closely. His first thought was that she looked tired and strained, but he did not say so.

After dinner Jean slipped into the hallway unnoticed, while Ruby and Christopher were washing up. She called home, relieved when Lucien answered. She was strangely excited to hear his voice, and she told him all about the journey and about how Amelia had grown. He may not have been fascinated by the news of her granddaughter, but he let her talk, just delighted to hear her speak, and tried to imagine her standing in the hall of the small army house in Adelaide.

"It's too quiet here without you," Lucien leaned back in his study chair and closed his eyes. He could almost see her smile at that comment.

"I wish you had come with me," she replied. She could visualise him in the leather chair in his study as they talked.

There was a pause. "I'm not sure Christopher and Ruby would have wanted that! One day we'll be able to stay with them together, when we're married." Last time in Adelaide he had only visited the house a couple of times, staying mostly in his hotel.

Jean ended the call shortly afterwards, and Lucien promised he would phone her the next evening.

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For the next three days, Jean spent time with her family, helping with the baby and chatting with Christopher and Ruby. However, Ruby thought she seemed rather stressed, and when she mentioned this to Christopher he pointed out that she had hardly mentioned Lucien to them, despite the nightly phone calls from the doctor.

Ruby agreed, and they were puzzled; they had half expected that Jean had come to Adelaide to tell them that she was going to marry Lucien, and that would have seemed quite natural after seeing them together on their last trip to the city.

That evening, after the regular telephone call from Lucien, Christopher decided he would have to ask his mother if something had upset her. When Ruby went to put Amelia to bed, he spoke up.

"Mum, it's lovely that you've come for a holiday, but is something wrong? You don't seem yourself, and we thought Lucien might have wanted to visit too."

Jean sighed, and nodded. "You're right, there is a problem, but it's not with Lucien. We seem to be causing a lot of gossip, living in the same house when we're not married. I'm thinking about moving out for a while, but in the meantime a holiday will give me some time to think about what to do."

Christopher went to speak, then thought better of it. The obvious solution, to him, was for them to get married, but of course he couldn't suggest that.

Jean could tell what he was thinking. Of course, she hadn't told him about Mei Lin, but it seemed she would have to now.

"We can't get married yet, Christopher. Lucien thought his wife had died during the war, but she hadn't, and she recently..." Jean did not want to say that she turned up on the doorstep, mid-proposal, "...she got in touch, and almost everyone in Ballarat knows about it. Now he will have to get a divorce, and that will take a few months, and in the meantime there's rather a lot of gossip. But when he's divorced, we will get married."

She looked Christopher in the eye, willing him not to say something too critical of Lucien, or too disapproving of her for taking up with a married man.

She had raised him well, it seemed. "I'm sorry, Mum. It must have been difficult for you both. Is he definitely going to marry you though?"

"He's asked me, and I've agreed, but we've not told people about it. We'll wait for the divorce first." She took the ring box out of her handbag and passed it to her son, who looked at the ring in surprise and then handed it back.

"He's serious then." It was a statement rather than a question. Jean nodded.

Christopher still looked rather stunned by the news of Lucien's wife and the divorce, and he thought for a few moments. Then he added, "If he wants to come here for a few days, he would be very welcome. If he doesn't mind sleeping on the settee." If they were going to be family, Christopher wanted to know Blake better.

Jean grinned at the idea of Lucien on the couch. "I'll phone him back and suggest it." Christopher enjoyed seeing the pleasure on her face at the thought of Lucien coming to stay; it seemed she really did love him.


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter is a little interlude in the story. It is almost entirely fluff and happy stuff, which I thought might make a change after some light angst in recent chapters.**

 **This chapter was inspired by fangirlingtomboy, who wanted a scene in the show of Lucien babysitting. I can't make it happen in series 5, but it can here, with a little imagination. I hope she enjoys it!**

 **Normal service (mild angst and trouble) will be resumed in the next chapter!**

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Jean opened the door of the army house to him, holding the baby in her arms, and they each leaned over Amelia to kiss each other in greeting. Lucien could feel her smile against his lips, and they broke the kiss so he could come into the house.

Setting his case down in the hall, he followed Jean into the kitchen. There was no sign of Christopher or Ruby.

"I made them go out to the pictures," Jean said. "It will do them good to go out, and I thought we could have an evening in together. Though I suppose most of our evenings have been spent in together."

"Not usually babysitting though," Lucien replied. "I'm not complaining. Any evening with you will be lovely; I've missed you."

Jean smiled at that. She rather hoped he had missed her. She had been away nearly two weeks, and although they had spoken on the phone, it was not the same.

After Christopher's invitation, Lucien had agreed to wait till the end of Jean's holiday, then come to Adelaide for a couple of days, and accompany Jean back to Ballarat. She was still determined to move out, however, once they were home.

And so shortly after his arrival, Lucien was sitting at the table, trying to keep Amelia amused in her high chair, while Jean took their dinner out of the oven where it was keeping warm.

By the end of the meal he had given in to the child, and she was sitting perched on his knee while he ate with one hand, reflecting that it was more than twenty years since he had done this, and he was out of practice. Amelia however seemed unconcerned, and mostly tried to pull at his beard, and play with his fingers as his other arm held her safely.

Jean watched them fondly. He may not have been Amelia's grandfather, but she would almost certainly grow up to think of him as such, and so far it seemed to be going well.

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When Christopher and Ruby returned they let themselves into the house quietly. They found Lucien and Jean sitting together on the couch; Lucien had his arm closely round Jean, and Amelia was asleep in her lap.

Christopher watched them for a moment, but decided he didn't mind too much seeing someone with his arm around his mum. She deserved someone to love her and his father had been gone a long time. He just hoped the divorce would not be a problem.

Ruby leaned over and scooped Amelia up from Jean's arms.

"I'm sorry, we didn't manage to get her into bed. She's only just fallen asleep," Jean whispered, so as not to wake her. Ruby just smiled and went upstairs to put her to bed.

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The following day, Christopher and Lucien went for a long walk together. Jean never found out exactly what was discussed, but she would not have been surprised if Christopher had asked Lucien if his intentions towards Jean were honourable, and if Lucien had asked Christopher's permission to marry her.

That might have been unconventional, but it seemed the most likely explanation to her of the new understanding between them when they returned.

But tomorrow they had to go home to Ballarat, and start a new, more constrained phase to their relationship. Adelaide seemed to be the one place they could behave naturally, and Jean wondered if they might need to take another little holiday in the city before too long.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the comments and reviews. The babysitting seemed to go down surprisingly well!**

 **There will be one more chapter to this story after this one, then I've got a few half finished drafts I'm going to try to finish.**

Two evenings later, Lucien drew the car up in front of the Soldier's Hill Hotel. He turned to Jean and sighed miserably. Then she smiled beautifully at him and he was won over, at least for the moment.

"I know, I know, it's only for a little while. But it's too long for me." He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her, slowly and leisurely, making Jean choose the moment to end the kiss and get out of the car.

He carried her case up the steps but did not go into the hotel. If the idea was to dispel any rumours of adultery, then he could hardly be seen checking into a hotel with her. The irony that it had been perfectly acceptable to spend the night, in the same hotel, with Mei Lin was not lost on him.

Lucien had insisted on paying for the hotel, but Jean had to write the cheque; again, it was all about appearances, and Lucien hated it.

The hotel would do for the time being, but if this were to go on for long, they would have to find a flat for Jean. She was not expecting to spend much time in the hotel anyway. It was just a place to sleep.

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She arrived at the house, the place that she would always think of as home, in time to cook breakfast, and let herself in quietly. Lucien was already in the kitchen setting the table, and she hurried over to kiss him.

He ran his hand down her back until it settled low down on her spine, and he pulled her close in to him. How could he have missed her so much in just a few hours?

"Mmm, good morning," he said, his voice very deep. He kissed her again, and asked how the hotel was.

"It was fine, Lucien." She didn't seem to want to discuss it.

She had been slightly disturbed to be given the same room Mei Lin had stayed in, and she hadn't been able to resist checking to see if the slit in the mattress was still there (and it was). Jean made the decision not to share this news with Lucien; he already had enough reasons to not want her to stay there.

Charlie arrived in the kitchen, coughed gently so they moved apart, and started to help get breakfast ready. For a moment, with all three of them there together, Jean felt a strong sense of family. By moving out she had perhaps emphasised that she was 'just' an employee, but in reality she was the lynchpin of the Blake household, and she knew it.

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Over the following weeks, they settled into a new routine; one that appeared superficially to work well, but which both Lucien and Jean found difficult.

She arrived early each morning, cooked meals and ate them with Lucien and Charlie, and did all her usual housework. Then, after dinner each evening, they settled to their books or sewing, and Lucien would drive Jean back to the hotel sometime before going to bed.

Lucien missed having late evening discussions with Jean, turning over the current investigation together over a glass of whisky. He missed seeing her ready for bed in her pale pink silk pyjamas, with no make up and bare feet. He missed her coming to him when he had a nightmare, and the chats over tea that used to follow.

Jean missed sleeping in her familiar room, with all her belongings around her. She missed hearing Charlie and Lucien moving around downstairs in the early morning. Most of all she missed the few intimate moments with Lucien, after Charlie had turned in, when they talked and held each other in the semi darkness in the living room.

The benefit for them both was that their plan seemed to be working. After a few curious looks, acquaintances seemed to accept that Jean moving out was a genuine attempt to do the right thing.

It also brought out into the open that they were involved, and of course that was never going to please those who disapproved of Jean seeing a married man, or who disapproved of him for sending his wife away. But they couldn't change that.

No one seemed very surprised at their now publicly acknowledged relationship. Apparently they had entirely failed to hide their feelings for months, if not years.

All they had to do now was keep a steady nerve till the divorce came through.


	8. Chapter 8

**This is the second chapter posted today, so do please make sure you've read chapter 7 first.**

 **Last chapter for this story. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, said kind things, made helpful suggestions etc. It's really helped, especially when I haven't been quite sure where this was going!**

 **And now, because we all want a happy ending...**

It occurred to Lucien that, now most of their friends and acquaintances knew they were courting, they could actually go out together. They could perhaps go to the pictures, or out for a meal.

He suggested it to Jean one evening, after they pulled up in the car outside the hotel. In the darkness he kissed her good night in the car as usual, but when she climbed out of the car he got out too, and came and stood with her in the darker shadows at the foot of the steps. Jean looked at him in surprise as he put his arms round her; they never did this in public.

"People might see us, Lucien," she whispered. He nodded and kissed her cheek.

"I rather hope they do," he replied. "We have nothing to be ashamed of. The divorce is going ahead nicely, we live separately now, we've done our best to do the right thing, why shouldn't we be seen together sometimes? In fact, I want us to go out together - come out to dinner with me tomorrow."

She tilted her head and looked at him quizzically. "You're asking me on a date?"

"Yes, if you'll agree."

Jean pretended to consider for a moment, but a smile kept appearing at the corner of her mouth. "Yes, I think that would be alright."

Blake grinned back at her. "Well, there should be some consolations for us having to live apart. Going out together is one, and kissing you goodnight is another."

He kissed her more urgently, and she responded, putting both arms around his neck, and using one hand to ruffle the hair at the back of his neck. Lucien started to pull her closer, and she took half a step forward into him, pushing her hips against him. They were both breathing faster, and Lucien could feel Jean trembling a little. Suddenly he chuckled and relaxed away from her.

"Perhaps we've treated the hotel guests to enough of a view for now." He reluctantly broke away so he was just holding her hand. He looked at Jean lovingly and pushed some stray hair behind her ear.

His eyes were drawn to her lower lip, slightly swollen from where he had kissed her. He promised himself he would do that again in the morning, but for now he would have to go home.

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They arrived at the Colonists' Club the following evening , and looked at each other for a moment.

"Ready?" Lucien asked. Jean nodded and slipped her arm through his. She was determined to look confident about this, but she was actually trying to remember if they had ever been out anywhere, just the two of them together, that was not to do with a case or some household matter.

This definitely felt different, and she could tell that Lucien was trying to make it different. As he took her coat he slid his hand around her and pulled her for a moment to his side, in an encouraging gesture. She smiled up at him, and they headed to the bar.

Cec's eyebrows may have risen just a fraction at seeing Lucien in his best suit and his housekeeper in a rather smart dress, but he was far too professional to comment, or even to give a second glance. Lucien however had noticed and tried to smother a smile.

They found a table in a quiet corner, and sat half facing each other. Lucien reached out under the edge of the table, and as his hand closed over hers, he looked at her in surprise. She laughed and lifted up her hand to show him his mother's ring on her finger.

Lucien stared at it for a moment. "So we're engaged, then?"

"Yes. If you still want to be, that is. So far, everything we have done has been about protecting my reputation, but this is about yours. I want people to know that you want us to get married, that you're not just stringing me along. Is that alright?"

"Of course it is!" He kissed her hand and his eyes twinkled at her. "I couldn't be happier about it."

Then he looked at the ring on her finger. "It looks beautiful on you. What have you done with your wedding ring, though?"

She pulled a face. "It's in my jewellery box at home. Maybe one day I'll give it to Amelia, when she's older."

"I wouldn't mind if you wanted to carry on wearing it, Jean. You could put it on the other hand."

She nodded. "Maybe I will in time. But for now I want to think about you rather than Christopher." He kissed her cheek, knowing how much that meant, coming from Jean.

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And so, three months later they lay together contentedly, just as the birds started to sing outside their bedroom window. "Welcome home," Lucien murmured to Jean.

She looked at him in surprise. They had been married for a week, so this was not her first night back home. It had been a relief to be back in their house for good, though.

"I was just thinking about all we went through to get here." Lucien tried to explain what he meant. "Three years ago we had never met, but now that seems so long ago."

Jean smiled and ran her fingers down his side. "So, when did you know?"

He paused, wanting to be honest. "Maybe when you went out with Richard? But I was certain when Jack left. Once I'd held you like that, I just wanted to hold on forever." He looked sidelong at her. "What about you?"

"When you went to China, I think. Absence makes the heart grow fonder! But it was too soon then."

He was surprised by her again; he would not have guessed she loved him then.

"Well, however many years I've got left, I want to spend them with you. And I suspect they won't be quiet years." Lucien kissed her tenderly.

"Mmm, good..." She replied sleepily. She knew a quiet life wouldn't suit either of them, but this particular quiet moment was precious, and they cherished it.


End file.
